John 6:20

John 6:20 but he called out to them "Don't be afraid. I am here!"

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Disturbing Behavior

I know earlier I had mentioned that when I first became saved that I had put too much focus on looking like a Christian instead of being one.  I feel the conviction of the Lord right now because I failed to include that if I wasn’t being one than I couldn’t possibly act like one either.  Like I had said before I was trying to dress the part but because I wasn’t living it, it was all a costume; a mask of righteousness and the only kind of righteousness I was seeking at the time was self-driven.  I did what a lot of new christians do: I made my faith about me instead of making me about my faith.  Like a child, it was all about me.

I went to church every Sunday and gave God a whole two hours of my time.  I couldn’t tithe because I was too busy telling my pastor all about my financial needs; I couldn’t bother with the needs of the church.  I was ready to use the church’s resources to satisfy my needs, even after it started to take a toll on theirs.  I held a Bible study at my house every week that every time the pastor would try to get into scripture, I quickly pulled the focus to what I believed instead. Every time I was given an opportunity to minister about Christ, I would debate why my beliefs were right and all other religions were wrong.  The time I spent in God’s Word was minimal at best.  I spent so much time passing judgment on others that I never saw or sought forgiveness for my own transgressions.  I was young and thought I had all the answers.  If I only knew a portion of what I thought I did.

At the time, I didn’t even realize that I was being that way.  I thought I was really trying to be what God wanted me to be.  What truly bothers me now is: How many people did I turn away from Christ with my actions?  How many people were curious to know the Lord and changed their mind after meeting me?  I let the enemy get a hold of me.  I was new in my walk and susceptible to his attacks.  Even though God had blessed me with a loving, compassionate pastor that was more than qualified to spiritually guide me; I couldn’t learn.  He blessed me with a wonderful church with a congregation that was trying to show me God’s love; I couldn’t see.  He blessed me with the most powerful weapon, His Word; I couldn’t use it.

I said before, when God gives us that calling to serve Him; we become a threat to the enemy and God knows this too.  He gives us the tools and resources to resist temptation and fight back.  He gives us the instruction manual, The Bible, to learn how to use the tools and apply the resources.  He never leaves us defenseless but when we refuse to read His Word we make ourselves defenseless.  That is what gives the enemy a foothold and lets our actions be led by him instead of by the Heavenly Father.  I fell into this trap and had no one to blame but myself for my lack of growth.

Since then, I have recommitted my life to Christ and without fail God has provided the same tools and resources that I need to better serve Him.  Once again, He surrounded me with loving, compassionate spiritual leaders, a wonderful church that overflows with His love and of course The most powerful weapon, His Word.  But, this time it wasn’t about me.  I am willing to be His servant; I’m eager to be and I read His Word’s daily so I can be.  Because of this, the enemy is no longer glorified by my actions.  I desire only for the love of Christ to show through my behavior so that anyone seeking the truth will find it.     

As christians, our behavior should always reflect the love of Christ.  All that we do should be in the service of God.  We never know who is watching and because of our actions find Christ or turn away from Him.  We do know that God is ALWAYS watching and will hold us accountable.

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.


  1. I went through the same thing and still struggle with how I show Jesus in my life to my family and friends. Thank you for sharing this. It made me think.

  2. Great testimony!
    Romans 10:17 "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ".

    1. thank you! and for the verse too! when i read it, i felt a tremendous amount of comfort and reassurance